Strength To Live: A son's suicide, a mother's heartbreak - KSLA News 12 Shreveport, Louisiana News Weather & Sports

Strength To Live: A son's suicide, a mother's heartbreak

(Source: Susan Magrum) (Source: Susan Magrum)

It's known as the silent killer — suicide — a subject few talk about, and is too often kept silent.  One ArkLaTex mother is on a mission to empower others, by talking about her son's death. 

Susan Magrum's son Lance, 36, ended his life in November of 2016. She said that he loved to make people laugh, and never met a stranger.

"He loved to race he raced for Childress Racing, built his first race car on his own," said Susan Mangrum. 

But she says it all changed after his divorce.

"He was in a bad relationship, and he more or less just isolated his self from us."

Lance, who was 7 years sober, relapsed, turning back to alcohol. 

"We knew something was wrong, but we could not pinpoint exactly what it was because we didn't have a whole a lot of contact with him," Susan said.

After a moment, she recalled a conversation with Lance two weeks before his death. 

"He said 'You know mom, I'm tired of talking,' and I said what are you tired of talking about, and he said 'I'm tired of explaining myself, I want everybody just to leave me alone,'" Susan recalled it was kind of odd, but coming from Lance it wasn't odd. 

That was early November. Thanksgiving passed and Lance spent the time with his children and family.

But the call Susan got on November 28th is one she'll never forget. 

"He always called me Mamaw, and at that moment he said 'Mom I love you more than you will ever know and you can't imagine how much that is', and I told him 'Well, I love you too Lance, you know mama loves you more than life.'"

The next day Susan's husband and oldest son showed up at her work.

"He (her husband) walked to me and he said it's Lance, and I said what happened, he said he committed suicide," Susan added. "As I moved it to hours after that it's like I was totally numb."

"I just kept saying why, why, why, because Lance with the type of person that would always say if you try to take your life that is selfishness that's being selfish and he talked about he would never take his life, and he took his life," Susan said. 

After 10 months of intense therapy, Susan is finding her strength to live. 

"There are no answers there was not a suicide note there is no answer," Susan said. "I wanted to say that Lance's suicide was an accident that he didn't mean to do it, but he did."

Susan hopes her story will encourage other families to break the silence. 

"I want to be able for us to come together as a group, as a whole, and be able to share our happy moments, our sad moments, how we've made it this long what we've went through to get here."

"There's so much help out there for the ones that are struggling. It's not you're not a bad person don't ever think you're a bad person."

KSLA News 12 and Brentwood Hospital: Behavioral Health System working each month to shine a light on this issue that can affect anyone. 

Do you or someone you know need help? Help is available 24/7, call the National Suicide Prevention Lifeline at 1-800-273-8255. 

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