Rantankerous: If a Polish sausage could talk, would it say it's - KSLA News 12 Shreveport, Louisiana News Weather & Sports

Rantankerous: If a Polish sausage could talk, would it say it's a hot dog?

Yep, that's how much George hates hot dogs. (Source: Bitstrips) Yep, that's how much George hates hot dogs. (Source: Bitstrips)

Rantankerous [ran-tank'uhr-us] (adjective) - A combination of rant [to speak in a wild or extravagant manner] and cantankerous [contentious, disagreeable]. The word is the only suitable description for the arguments between Brian "What We Learned" Tynes and George "Hot Reads" Jones.

(RNN) – The exploits of American hero Joey “Jaws” Chestnut were on display Friday afternoon as he triumphantly gobbled 61 hot dogs to win the Nathan’s Famous Hot Dog Eating Contest.

According to legend, the contest started during World War I when a group of immigrants were arguing over who was the most patriotic among them. To settle the dispute, they decided to have a hot dog eating contest, the winner of which would never again suffer the indignity of having his patriotism besmirched.

It is in this vein that Chestnut – the world record holder with 69 hot dogs eaten – is considered to be the greatest American to ever live.

This week, Brian and George pale in comparison, estimating they’ve eaten about that many in the last 10 years rather than 10 minutes. Under a time limit, they could probably get about seven - combined.

Of course, the conversation can’t end there. The great sandwich debate flared up again and another topic over what actually constitutes a hot dog surfaced, leaving George on shaky ground when he claims that all forms of sausage are hot dogs.

Whatever it is that possesses a person to eat a few dozen hot dogs in a third the time of a sitcom isn’t known, but the stuffed-animal-box-hiding and illegal-birthday-gift-buying incidents in the weird news segment are attributable to meth. It isn’t known if the rabbit-punching anecdote in the same segment is attributable to anything other than extremely poor judgment.

It’s possible legitimate topics will return next week. Until then, enjoy your Fourth of July weekend, and if you decide to blow something up tonight, do so responsibly.

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