Entering the mind of a convicted rapist

SHREVEPORT, LA (KSLA)- John says the sexual abuse started when he was only four. "Not playing the blame game, but when I was a very young child my older sister taught me the wrong thing," says John.

He says she hurt him. So he in turn starting hurting others. "I guess I was looking for power," says John. "I wanted to exert my power over them I suppose."

That mentality he says sent him to prison. He was convicted of forcible rape. He attacked two women and a teenager he knew. "I didn't care that's it in a nutshell. I wanted what self wanted only what self wanted," says John.

But while in prison, he says he started to change. "It was during that prison ministry that I came to the realization that I am nothing," says John.

He says Jesus and others come first. And after he was released 20 years later at the age of 62, he says the real transformation began. "I was required to see a sex therapist counselor. The first months I fought it because I just figured he was trying to get into my business. But then I came to the realization the only person I could blame was self .. not him, the women or anybody else. It's my fault," says John.

He was also required to register as a sex offender within three days of getting out of prison and find a job. He had 21 days to do that or else go back to jail.

"I went to work raking leaves, cutting limbs, cleaning up yards for a lady," says John.

Then his godsend. He says he was approached to help other ex-cons by running a rehabilitation house.

"I pick them up at the hospital or bus station. First I try to take them out and buy them a decent meal. I get them some clothes. I have to hustle money to get them a birth certificate and identification card which they have to have to go to work. I get their social security card, and then get them back into the job force," says John.

He says he does this to try to keep them out of jail. John says you have to take responsibility for your own actions and lean on a higher power.

"I love the lord and I thank him for forgiving me and giving me the strength to forgive myself," says John. And you have to have enough courage to say these words.

"What I would like to say to the victims is I would like to beg their forgiveness. They didn't deserve that nobody deserves that," says John.

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